PHOTO: Read: I MUST GO TO LONDON TO SEE MY PRESIDENT BY REUBEN ABATI
When 15 million
plus Nigerians voted for President Muhammadu Buhari in the 2015 general
elections, their expectation was that he would be available to serve them
24/7/365, and that those who fielded him as their candidate had done their home
work to avoid what is curiously becoming the Katsina problem in Nigerian
politics. Katsina!
But we have now found ourselves in a situation whereby
our President is now in London, for more than one month sir, ma, and we are
here, and we have an acting President, who according to everybody, including
the extremists and the mischievous, and the politically partisan, is beginning
to try his best, with his admirers, now praying for the worst.
For that reason
alone, we have an emotionally, politically and spiritually divided country on
our hands. Don’t mind what they tell you, and don’t deceive yourself, the
Nigerian Presidency is in turmoil. It is not our wish. It is not what the
voters asked for. But that is how democracy works. You cannot predict the
results that democracy produces. Not even in America. Or Russia.
Now that we have
found ourselves in this situation, anyway - an absentee President trying to
remain relevant and an acting President struggling to put up appearances, and
struggling harder not to be seen to be ambitious (sorry, Prof. I was your
student but I have something to say sir, I don’t mean any harm – truth be
told), where should the Nigerian people stand? For the past one month, we have
all been trapped in a post-truth situation, pretending as if all is normal. We
should stop pretending.
Those who supported
and are supporting the APC that brought President Muhammadu Buhari to power and
office cannot talk. They cannot talk due to embarrassment and shame. They are
busy putting up a face. But for how long can they do this?
The Nigerian media
is also on its knees, looking so pitiable, with the exception of a few blogs,
newspapers that we can’t even trust, professional media consultants who are in
disarray, a few bloggers and then some gentlemen: Pa Ikhide, Farooq Kperogi,
Sonala Olumhense, Omoyele Sowore, Pius Adesanmi and Okey Ndibe who have since
been specially illuminated as they journeyed to Damascus.
I will return to
this subject some other day. But I think right now, we should begin to take the
subject of the absence of President Muhammadu Buhari more seriously. Bukola
Saraki, our Senate President has visited him in London, twice, within two
weeks. I don’t think we should leave this business of visiting the President to
party chieftains, the executive and the Federal Legislature.
If care is
not taken, Senator Saraki may be tempted to visit the President again next
week. And the week after and he may even be tempted to travel with all the
members of the National Assembly. There must be equity in this matter.
Figure it out as
follows: we all know that President Buhari is now in London and he is the man
Nigerians chose as their President in 2015. We cannot forsake him. He is
in London on working leave, for more than one month now, and we don’t know when
that leave will end. We have been told it will end soon. Later.
One day.
Whenever. We are not God. Let the leave end when it will. But we, the
people, have a duty to stand by our President. This is the point of this
article. We are Africans. We have traditions. We respect elders. We don’t joke
with old age. The time has come, right now, for Nigerians to behave like
Africans.
We should therefore,
not leave this business of visiting to Senator Busola Saraki alone. Party
chieftains have visited Mr. President. The leadership of the National
Assembly has also gone to London to be part of President Buhari’s working
leave.
I think Vice-President-Acting-President Yemi Osinabjo should also visit
his boss, this week, next week, or ASAP. Henceforth, he should be in London at
least once a week. Let us stop pretending that the President is not in
charge. He is. If Aso Villa is now in London, let us make it work.
The
Acting President and the real President need quality face time. If the
acting President must go to London everyday, let him do so, but don’t let us
run Nigeria by telephone or DHL Am I making sense? I am not talking about
common sense. I mean real sense. So, do I make any sense at all?
After the Acting
President’s visit, all former Presidents should also start going to London to
see the President. Those former Presidents are not as harmless as they pretend
to be.
They are projected to the public as advisers but they are more than
that: they all left something in Aso Villa that makes them eternally
powerful. It is like leaving your DNA in a woman’s body. They should be
allowed or perhaps encouraged to visit President Buhari while he is on working
leave. I think our Baba in Abeokuta, Ota and Ibogun should be the
first to visit.
That may negate the order of seniority, but trust the Ebora Owu
to return from London with front-page news! After him, the others can start
visiting and probably advise on the possibility of holding a Council of State
meeting in London. As it were, the Nigerian Constitution does not
insist that the Council of State Meeting must be held inside Nigeria. The main
subject of that first historic, diaspora, Council of State Meeting should be
phrased by OBJ in his own unique way: “Momodu: are you well or sick?”
There is something
called the separation of powers. I don’t want to disrespect mi’lords but I
think they too should go to London. The National Judicial Council (NJC) should
put together a high-powered delegation of judges from every part of the
country, from all divisions, and level, to proceed post-haste to London to
visit, no, to confer with President Buhari on matters of judicial interest to
the nation.
But Sirs, don’t go there and talk about the welfare of
judges, or the non-payment of your entitlements - if you try that, well, I
won’t be in a position to tell you what awaits you on your return. You know
mi’lords, as well as I do, that the law in Nigeria is now being made to look
truly like an ass!
After the judges,
okay may be the Nigerian Bar Association should also send a delegation, but I
don’t trust many of our lawyers. They think they know the law, and they could
go to London and say things that will disrupt the President’s working leave. To
make that impossible, members of the NBA should be booked on an Arik flight to
London, please. But if they get there, fine.
The next delegation should be that
of Permanent Secretaries. These ones should spend more than a week in London
with the President. In fact, they can stay with him till he returns. If they
also have medical issues, they should use the opportunity to ask for tests,
with the condition that they must return immediately the President leaves
London, notwithstanding the status of their own medical tests!
Once the Permanent
Secretaries have been fully accommodated in London, the Ministers, those who
were once dismissed by their own employer as “noise-makers”, and who have
proven to be no better, should also visit London. They can go ahead and
make as much noise as they wish in London and even enjoy the benefit of a full
Federal Executive Council Meeting.
I suspect that this will be a
particularly productive FEC meeting. If the people in the Foreign Affairs Ministry
know what they are doing, however, they would arrange ahead of that meeting in
London, a special meeting with Theresa May, Prime Minister of Great Britain,
followed by a dinner with Her Majesty the Queen of England, with a proviso,
please, please, please, that nobody should bring up the issue of Biafra or
Southern Kaduna after shaking the Queen’s hand, and there should be a strict
guarantee that President Buhari will be accompanied by his extremely beautiful
wife, Aisha, and he will not, meeting the Queen, no matter how excited, make
the mistake of referring to “za oza room”.
Stop laughing, my
friend; this is how you people cause problems for innocent writers. What
I am now trying to add having made all these points above, is that the
Governors’ Forum should also visit President Buhari in London.
The Governors
have already signified their intention to do so and that seems to be fine with
the Nigerian public. The Governors should therefore appoint
representatives who should proceed to London. When they meet with the
President, they should hold a special prayer session with three prayer points:
one, that President Buhari will not work for another person to come and eat;
two: that the demons of Aso Rock will spare and forgive him and his family; three:
that President Buhari will return to Nigeria with his two feet. The Governor to
lead the prayer should be Peter Ayo Fayose of Ekiti State.
If he starts
sounding as he has been sounding in recent times, Nasir el-Rufai should be
asked to take the microphone from him. And if Nasir sounds like he is playing
politics, as he has been doing, Adams Oshiomhole who will like to be there
anyway, as a Governor ex-officio, should be given the microphone and asked to
pray for the President as best as he can or as best as Trotsky could.
I have left out
some people. In the past month, some Imams and ulamas and concerned relatives
have been reported in the media, holding prayer sessions for a hale and hearty
President who is just in London to enjoy the weather and do some quality
check-ups, private and public. These prayer warriors have prayed and prayed in
Abuja, Daura, Borno and everywhere else. The matter is so serious that nobody
should be surprised if Rochas Okorocha or James Ibori organizes a prayer
session for Muhammadu Buhari. This is the biggest business in Nigeria at this
moment.
I think, therefore,
that we should also encourage the ulamas and the imams to visit. Let them go to
London and pray for their President. We have been told they have been sending
prayers through skype, whatsapp and the air, the same channels that GSM service
providers in Nigeria now want to block. Let the imams go to London then and let
the verses of the Holy Quoran rain down. It will be unfair not to allow
Christian leaders to go to London too.
They are also anxious to go to London.
Pastor Tunde Bakare, my beloved, secondary school senior should lead that team.
His job should be to screen out any Pastor with Biafra, or Southern Kaduna or
pro-PDP blood in him or her. I mean Pastors like Reno Omokri, Ebun
Adegboruwa…. you get what I am saying? The prayer should be commissioned!
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